Jeannine Says…

Since auntie madam turned 4 years old, everything about her is “I’m a big girl.” Before her birthday, she kept on asking us when she would turn four. She was in such a hurry because probably in her little brain, turning 4 meant she was a big girl. I once told her not to be in a hurry to grow up because adulthood is a scam! But she is yet to experience that, so I shall wait.

For the past few months, she has tried to demonstrate big girl tendencies and I must say that I can’t deal with her no more! She’s 4 going on 20! Her utterances, her mannerisms, her cockiness and boldness I must say is quite shocking! They legit stop you in your tracks. She, literally, gives you an out-of-body experience where you ask yourself “ did she just say that?” There have been days when I have had to shut down that behavior with tenacity and alacrity, and some days when I’ve just laughed it off and moved on. Sometimes, it’s really not that deep.

She hates being sent. I know where she gets that from. If she doesn’t want to do anything, she will give excuses or hurriedly do it or drag her feet! One evening, I asked her to pass me wipes to clean something. Her father had just walked out of the bathroom when she turned to look at him and instructed him by saying, “Pierre, pass mummy wipes.” 😳😳 We both looked at each shocked and couldn’t believe our ears. As for her, she carried on watching her iPad because, well, we had tried to take her precious time and she just couldn’t be bothered! Like can’t y’all see I’m in the middle of something important ? I couldn’t even be angry. My husband just passed me the wipes like a humble servant and I went on about my business. The shock was too intense for me to even address that cocky behavior at that point. I needed sometime to consult the ancestors on how to deal with such matters.

One time, she was playing with her brothers and PJ threw a book to hit her chest. She screamed, “ouch” and I’m like, “sorry, be careful.” Then what proceeds from her mouth afterwards is even more shocking. Jeannine: “he hit my breast.” So I’m like, “where is the breast?” She pulls her top down to show me the dot of a breast she has. I’m like, “it’s small.” Ladies and gentlemen, her response: (hits me) “it’s not small, it’s coming.” I laughed and laughed till I couldn’t laugh anymore. You see why I say she is 4 going on 20? Another evening, we were about to wash our hands when I pumped a little soap in her hand. Mind you, she expects to have soap in both palms, of equal amount as well. In the first palm, I put a little and a little bit more in the other. Madam doesn’t understand and says, “I’m growing.” I’m like, “pardon?” You’re growing? I was so confused and wasn’t exactly sure what she was talking about. She says, “ yes, so you have to give me big soap.” I became mute. I couldn’t answer. Like, can someone please explain to me what age has got to do with hand wash soap? Or maybe I’m missing something here? Did I give her big soap? I leave that to you to answer.

In all her ‘I am a big girl’ behaviour,she still sucks her fingers. Big girl like her! 🙄 One of my family goals this year was to stop her from sucking her fingers. I didn’t like how she looked when sucking and I sure didn’t want to start saving money for braces in the future. A friend had told me about some type of retainers that she got done for her daughter to also help her stop sucking her fingers but I wasn’t ready for all that expense and drama it may bring. Last year, I was watching MicahandEliana’s stories on Instagram when their mum Amaka was using Mavala Stop for her daughter and it worked in about a week! I vowed to get it and her very own godmother bought two for me. I decided this February to do it and chose a Friday evening to start. If she was to have any withdrawal symptoms and issues, I could use the weekend to suffer through it.

The day I got it, I decided to try it on my nails and suck to see if it was truly bitter! Omo! The thing tastes like turpentine and quinine combined! Day one was a hit! She didn’t suck at all! She tasted it and it was so bitter! Her face changed completely! Funnily enough, she thought it was nail polish and would always come for reapplication! Oh, the feeble minds of children! One evening when we got home from work, as usual, she came to ask for her evening dose. She held her fingers high up in the air as if she was drying her nails and showed it to her father. Afterwards, she went, “ daddy if you taste it your face will change’! We burst out laughing! Has she stopped sucking? Yes. Has she been caught a few times sucking? Yes. However, I’m glad I was able to get her to stop. As for those two boys, I shall give them small time and try it with them later. I must admit though that sucking their fingers has helped them sleep better.

With her, I always feel like I’m paying for my sins. I have met my match. Her matter hard. However, I must admit that her growth and confidence makes me happy and proud. Her resilience is admirable. I am often torn between how to discipline her and still keep those character traits intact, because I know they will come in handy as she gets older. As I type this, she is sitting on the floor sulking because she expects that I am able to read her mind and know exactly what she wants, after asking her countless times. I can’t be bothered. I should write a book on her!