My Faith 

Having children takes a toll on you. They come into your life, so sweet and precious, yet still manage to turn your life upside down. They literally take over everything. You are not your own anymore. You belong to them, you work for them, you live for them. You basically exist for them. They become your whole life and whole world. We can get so caught up in being parents that we tend to neglect our own self-care. Our children can be wearing the nicest and cleanest of clothes, eating all the vegetables and fruits and healthy stuff, and we are looking like we’ve worked at a construction site or been in a jungle. Things you used to do before, become more difficult to do. They are a blessing, no doubt, and I wouldn’t trade my children for anything, however, my salvation is also important. 

I used to have time to read my Bible, however, praying was a difficult thing for me to keep up with. I always got tired and short of words anytime I wanted to pray. I gradually got better and could pray for longer periods of time without even realising time had passed. Prior to having children, I was at every church programme, prayer meeting, convention, you name it. I could read the Word, get revelation and share on my Facebook page. I could see things happen in the day and realise God was speaking to me about something. I wasn’t all that but I knew my Faith was stronger than now. 

It all started when I was pregnant with Jeannine. I was in Nigeria at the time, and I fellowshipped at House on the Rock. I chose not to join any department, but rather focus on my walk with God. Reason is, I felt I was so busy for God, doing things for Him and not really spending time with Him and knowing Him. It started getting harder for me to have my quiet time because I was pregnant and all I wanted to do was sleep. I would still read my devotionals, but I started making excuses. Baby comes and now, I didn’t seem to have time for anything. Not even myself. To bath, na problem, let alone sit and have meaningful time with God. I wouldn’t go a day without a verse or two read, and a prayer, but it wasn’t enough. I kept trying to make it better, but I’d start well and fall along the line and just get by. I realised I was struggling to overcome certain things that I used to be so strong at refusing. I started seeing things that I used to be so against as somewhat normal and probably not as serious as I was seeing them before. I got tired of my devotional because I thought the topics everyday were too random. I wanted something that would teach me things for a period of time. 

When we moved back to Ghana, I didn’t make that much progress either. I got back into my routine of going to church every Sunday at House of Consecration Ministry. However, I realised I was struggling to fit back in. I got used to my church in Nigeria so having to transition back to my old church was tough. The style of preaching was different from what I had become accustomed to, new people had joined the church, so I knew just a few people. I felt like quitting at times, but I had to truly asses myself and understand why I felt that way and what I could do to make it better. Gradually, I was able to fit back in and adjust. 

The twins came and it was even harder to keep up. They literally took over my life. I immediately realised that if I didn’t do anything about getting my Faith where I wanted it to be, hell fire will be my portion. God forbid! I can’t come and suffer in this world and then end up there. Like, then what was the point? God help me make it to heaven, Amen. Anyways, I got more serious about my quiet time and finding devotionals that spoke to me on topics I wanted to learn about and things that would show me the right way in relation to any situation I was going through at the time. In Gods Word, we do find all solutions to our problems in the world. I used the YouVersionBible app that had some great free plans. I also got introduced to Steve Furtick and made it a point to listen to his preachingall the time. I also joined every Hallelujah Challenge Nathaniel Bassey did. Some days I would sleep and not join, some days I would join with full vim and doze off within minutes. The struggle was real. I must say most of the prayerpoints He led us to write down and believe God for have been answered. 

All through last year, I was making progress in my faith but I still wanted more. You can never be satisfied with the Word. You’ll always want more. I knew the mornings were very busy for me and would be difficult to carve out ample time for my quiet time. I resorted to still reading my devotional in the morning, however, once the children were in bed at night, I’d anoint them all and sit in their room to pray. I found it to be more peaceful and the only truly quiet time throughout my whole day. I am also able to go for more church programmesthan before and be involved in some of the activities. Petit àpetit l’oiseau fait son nid. 

This year, I’ve made it a goal to work on my walk with God. I yearn for a deeper connection with Him. I want to know Him more and secure my spot in heaven. I want to raise godly children and give them a good foundation. We are definitely in the end times and we need to wake up as a people and work out our salvation with fear and trembling. I got introduced to the Jesus Calling devotional and I am glad I did. The write ups and verses everyday are so deep and thought provoking. They push you to ask some questions and examine yourself. 

Jesus is the Ultimate!

That I may know Him and make Him known…

2 thoughts on “My Faith ”

  1. You’re speaking truth Nkansa. As for the dozing off it’s sad ankasa! But we need to ask the Holy Spirit for strength each day that’s what I have learnt.
    Thank you for sharing. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh this faith matter! Nks thank you for sharing. Personally I’ve used social media to stay connected because I must be deliberate. Just need to “dig in” more! God help us

    Liked by 1 person

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