Leaving the house

Recently, my husband and I have realized that we are not being invited to parties and hang outs anymore. We go on Instagram and see all sorts of parties and events and we’re wondering whether our friends have forgotten about us. The usual excuse is, “your hands are full so we didn’t want to bother you.” Omo, it’s true, our hands are really full. In fact, thank you for not inviting us because to get everyone out of the house and to plan for who will babysit the children, na only God.

The few times we’ve been invited to a party or an event, it has been a children’s party. Is this what we have been reduced to? Na wa oh. Come to think of it, I haven’t been out to enjoy myself in about a year. Why am I even complaining? It’s not as if I go out too 🙄, but still. We are a family of 6; father, mother, three children and a nanny. I am not one to be late to events and appointments, however, having to carry everyone out of the house in good time is a Herculean task. If we all have to go, then it means both cars would be used. You see why I need a driver and a Mercedes Benz GLS or a Lincoln Navigator? Heck, at this point any 7 – seater car would do. Baba God bless me 🙌🏽. I usually have the twins and the nanny with me and my daughter rides with her dad because he plays cool toddler music for her. As for me, I listen to radio. Most days, she feels I won’t come back or will miss out on being with her brothers and so she rides with me, in the middle of them.

In the beginning, I couldn’t get everyone ready to leave the house before 10am. It was almost impossible to leave earlier than that. By the time I feed the boys, pump milk, bath them, make sure my daughter is ready, get myself ready, feed the boys again, plus my daughter, it’s already mid-morning. Prepping their diaper bag the night before saves me. Their milk, bottles and water are packed first thing in the morning and their clothes taken out before they bath. As I explained my daily routine in my previous post, the time to get everyone ready has been reduced now because, all of a sudden one of my pumping parts decided to get missing mysteriously. I turned my room upside down and searched everywhere and I still can’t find it. I just took it as a sign that i needed to stop pumping because châle, I was getting tired of it. So now, as soon as they wake up, I breastfeed them instead of bottle feeding and then pumping afterwards. That saves me a whole thirty minutes. All things work together for good 😉.

The other trick too is to make sure I feed them before leaving the house. One time I thought I could leave the house and get to church before their feeding time, hmmm, I regretted. I was close to stopping by the roadside and yanking my breasts out for the whole world to see. We sha made it safe. After that, I said “never again shall I be foolish.” In my church, foolishness is not an insult, it’s a state of mind. This past Sunday, it took us all three hours to get ready to leave the house. The nanny was off, so my husband and I were left to fend for ourselves. No bi wanna pikins? We were up by 6 am, I breastfed the boys, prepped their bags, packed snacks for my daughter and made her Milo. While I bathed the boys, my husband bathed and dressed my daughter up. #Daddyyo. After the kids were sorted, we now got ready. By the time we were done, it was 9am and we were both so tired. I breastfed the boys again and it was time to move.

In order to get everyone in the car, we first of all put their bags in the car, turn on the AC, put the boys in their car seat and strap them in. By now, my daughter would have decided who she’s riding with. Her dad usually lures her with playing her favorite DesmondDennis rhyme. Check him out and thank me later. Once everyone is strapped in, we lock up and we are on the move. It’s a whole convoy, I tell you. It’s only left with police escort and we will be blowing our horns for you to give us way. When I get my dream car, y’all will see me rollin’ and hatin’ 😎.

I still want to be invited to events and places because I need to get out of the house. I want to interact with other adults and not only with a toddler who talks back and two babies who are rolling all over the place and always looking for milk. Don’t use my plenty children as an excuse. And no vex, please let your invite come two weeks to a month prior. We shall represent in our numbers. Make that a table for 6 please 😊.