When we found out we were having twins, the best decision for us was for me to take 6 months off work. With my experience with my daughter, I knew taking care of two babies at the same time was going to be much more difficult, so I needed ample time off. I used to wonder how I was going to cope with them; feeding them, bathing them and everything in between. Like I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, my mum was a huge support the first 4 months whilst my husband held the fort with our daughter.
Getting back home, I realized that being a mother is the hardest job ever. It is rewarding but very challenging. We should be paid for this, honestly. I salute all housewives who do this everyday. I secretly wish I was one. I was somewhat eager to go back home and somewhat wishing I didn’t have to. I knew I had to get back into my reality, settle in well and find my own rhythm and routine. The thought of having to manage my own home with my husband, three children and a nanny was frightening. I had become used to everything being done for me and so, having to go back to doing it all by myself was… (I can’t find the right word.) This is when I wish I was so wealthy to have a nanny for each child, a chef to plan and cook my meals, a masseuse, a cleaner, a driver for the children, another for me and a Mercedes Benz GLS. All I have to do is order them around to get things done. Today Dubai, tomorrow London, next week Paris and anywhere my heart desires to go. I didn’t come to this world to suffer biko. I’m the daughter of The King of kings. (*flips hair*). Until then, I have to manage what I have, abi? Sigh.
My day starts early. As soon as I hear a cry, my eyes are wide open like I never slept. Who else kind of half-sleeps? You’re asleep oh but awake as well, in case your baby wakes up. It’s as if you somewhat anticipate that they would so you stay up, ready to attend to them. Before they wake up, I already start to hear them crying in my sleep. It’s weird. Am I the only one? Mothers are super human beings, I promise! Thankfully, the boys sleep through the night so I’m able to sleep. Lord I thank You for that. So here’s how the day goes :
- 5 – 6am : the boys are up, fed and their diapers changed.
- 6 – 8am : my daughter is up, bathed and ready for school. I would usually exercise and bath but sometimes, in fact, most times nowadays, I sleep in. The boys usually would also nap a bit.
- 8 – 9am : feed the boys, bath them and put them down for their morning nap.
- 9 – 11:30am : bath, eat, have my quiet time, catch up on social media, sew, write blog posts…
- 11:30am – 12pm: the boys are up, feed them and change their diapers.
- 12 – 2pm : from this time onwards, it’s hard for me to get things done for myself because they’re now fully awake and ready to play. That spans from playing on their mats, being in their rockers, sitting in their seats (still learning to sit), being fussy and needy and wanting to be held. In between that time I get to have my lunch. I normally eat fast, but since having three children, I have become the fastest eater.
- 2 – 3pm : feed them and put them down for their afternoon nap.
- 3 – 4pm: pick my daughter up from school. From this time on, my life is no longer my own.
- 4 – 5pm : my daughter has bathed and had her dinner. On a good day, this happens, on other days…story for another day.
- 5 – 6pm : the boys are up, fed and diapers changed.
- 6 – 7:30pm : help with my daughter’s homework (real definition of Le Struggle), try to get her to eat again, that is if it didn’t happen the first time, while the boys just play on their mats. By 7pm, the boys are changed into their pyjamas and fed by 7:30pm. I get to have dinner in between that.
- 7:30 – 8:30pm : the boys are in bed, we watch our favorite Nigerian series, The Johnsons, and my daughter goes to bed. Sometimes it’s a fight, sometimes, it’s easy. Another story for another day.
- 8:30 – 10pm : Pump and get ready for bed.
This is what my routine looks like for most weekdays. Weekends are for outings and church so the routine is slightly altered. There are days that can be so overwhelming, especially when one of them is sick or simply refusing to nap or stay still. On days when they refuse to be in sync and one decides not to sleep, I feel like I’m constantly feeding and holding them. Some days I just want to quit. I wish I could go away for just three days to recuperate. I need uninterrupted sleep, I don’t want to hear ‘mummy’, a baby cry or any noise, indulge myself with a massage, a mani and pedi and good food to fill me up without getting fat. Is this too much to ask? One day, I called my mum and just complained so bitterly. I wanted to give up and run away; I cried that day. All because, small Madam threw a fit in the morning about not wanting to brush her teeth or bath. Like why ? Screaming be what? If this was the abroad, like by now our neighbors would have called Child Services. We go through this EVERYDAY. I can’t deal 🤦🏽♀️. Monsieur PJ also caught the left – over bit of his brother’s cold and couldn’t breathe and sleep properly. I was sucking phlegm, wiping noses, constantly rocking them and didn’t even get five minutes for myself. It took everything in me, with the special grace of God, to go through that day.
Motherhood is hard. There have been days when I would forget to put lotion on them or give them their multivitamin or clean one’s ears. Please don’t judge me, blame it on my mummy brain; I easily forget things lately. They sha have survived, non? I have come to realize that if you don’t establish a routine for everything concerning your baby, you’d find yourself overwhelmed and just running around in circles. Even with a routine, it can get tough, so imagine if you didn’t have one. At the end of everyday, I thank God that I’ve survived the day. Now don’t get me started on when we all have to leave the house together…
Am I content? Yes. Am I tired? Yes. Am I overwhelmed? Sometimes. But in all things I gives thanks to God that I have the opportunity, in fact, the privilege to care for my children. There are really good days where it’s all smiles, bad days when you just want to go and hide and half – good half – bad days where you just wing it. I wouldn’t have it any other way… 😀
The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and it is to support the ultimate career. CS Lewis.