Circumcision

If I was asked to write an essay, like is usually done in school, about the day I would never forget, it would be about the day my sons got circumcised. Yo! Bruh! No one prepares you for that.

I will keep saying this, giving birth during Christmas is the worst. Not only are you not able to go anywhere, but there are also many holidays in between that can spoil your plans. I know as per the usual, it’s best to circumcise by the eighth day, post-birth. However, while leaving the hospital after delivery, I forgot to book the appointment and no one even mentioned it to me. Should it not be one of the first things you should be told as a mother of boys? Nurses, please don’t come for me. Now, the pediatric surgeon only consulted on Tuesdays and the only available Tuesdays after their birth were 25th December 2018 and 1st January 2019. Both holidays; great! 🙄. I had to wait till 9th January, almost three weeks after birth. I was told the earlier it was done, the less painful it was for them. Now, see me having to get it done for them this late. Oh well, better late than never.

As usual, I read extensively on it, seeing it was a first time experience for me. There was a new ring method, Plastibell, that was to be used. The days of using a Wanzam has now become a thing of the past. 9th January came and we headed to the hospital for our 2pm appointment. The night before, I had to pray and soak them in the Blood of Jesus, because nobody wants a botched penis (I care about their future wives). Their weight and height measurements were taken and we were ushered into the theatre waiting room. The nurse came to educate us on the ring method, how it would be done, how to care for the penis post-op and all that. We were then asked to undress them, cover them in a hospital sheet and have a clean diaper on stand-by. I was ready! I thought I was a G! I was running my mouth as to why they wouldn’t let us in the theatre and how I wanted to see the procedure to be sure they didn’t botch their penises. I thought I had already had two CS’ and so nothing could shake me. Nkansa, shut up, just shut up ok.

A lady’s son went in before ours and as soon as I heard him scream, I was like, nope, I ain’t ready for this. I started getting scared. About ten to fifteen minutes later, he was brought out crying. I asked her if I could see how it looked and indeed, it was a gory sight to behold. I shudder at the thought of it. She was already experienced so she was cool, calm and collected. Now it was my sons’ turn. I was doing hardcore but châle, my insides were turning. PJ went in first (I like to do things by seniority). He cried, as per usual, and I just wanted to enter the theatre and carry my son away. I couldn’t wait to see him. When they brought him out, to our surprise, he wasn’t crying so I thought, oh, all was well; my baby is a hard guy. Lies! As soon as I saw his penis, I literally shook, like I was freezing in winter. For a split second I couldn’t move. I was traumatized. It looked blood stained and painful. My husband was feeling the pain, like he was the one that had been circumcised. I carefully and meticulously wore his clothes back on and proceeded to mix his milk to feed him. My dress wasn’t breastfeeding – friendly and as you know, I have refused to breastfeed in public. As soon as I put the bottle in his mouth and he took a few sips, he started crying. More like wailing. He was crying from his gut. It was deep and I had never heard that cry before. I thought something was “doing him” and told the nurse to check him because the cry was unusual. She reassured me that it was normal and took MJ in for his. He also came out and exhibited the same behaviour. They are identical twins after all.

I must say, I wasn’t prepared for this mentally. Two babies crying hysterically after their circumcision and distraught parents looking clueless. I wanted to cry with them but I needed to be strong. We put them in their car seats and made our way to the car. The screaming wouldn’t stop and everyone had this sad but happy look on their face because one, they were seeing twins, and two, because they had just been circumcised. That ride was the longest ever! They wouldn’t stop crying and I had to carry both of them to try and soothe them. As soon as we got home, I shoved my breasts in their mouths but still, the boys were unhappy, hurting and just wouldn’t eat 😭😭. We kept rocking and patting their backs till they eventually stopped crying and fell into a long deep sleep.

When they woke up and it was time to change their diapers, fear gripped me. I wanted to run away. Serious! As I opened the first diaper and the penis caught my eyes, I looked at it eye ball to eye ball and said : “ I ain’t scared, I can do this.” Yeeyeee! Original Gangsta 😎. I carefully cleaned them both up and breastfed them. Throughout that day, they were irritable and whiny but we pulled through. We were asked to give Calpol three times a day for seven days straight. I hate giving children medicine, after my daughter used to throw fits! Now she begs us to give her medicine. How people change! Smh.

Caring for these penises was a very delicate matter. We were told not to apply anything and that the ring would come off on its own. After a few days, I was eager to let it fall off quick so I “borrowed” what my sister’s Wanzam in the UK had told her to do. I asked other friends what they did to get theirs to fall off quickly and they all said the same thing; use plenty Vaseline around the ring. I kuku went to take my big tub of Vaseline and applied it like it was going out of style. These rings must fall off by thunder, by fire (nurses, once again, please don’t come for me.) Gradually, the rings started getting looser and the redness had gone down. By the sixth day, PJ’s ring fell off. Come and see jubilation in my household. I quickly snapped it and sent it to the whole family. The excitement was too much. MJ’s fell off the very next day! The joy I felt was beyond comprehension. Finally we had jumped this hurdle. They could finally have a proper bath, where we could pour water on them without the fear of infections. Diaper changes were now a breeze. In hindsight, my husband and I are glad that they had it done later and not earlier. I was already traumatized with their umbilical cord healing and falling off. I don’t think I could have added the trauma of circumcision to it.

I used to say that men don’t suffer at all but after this experience, I’ve changed my mouth small. It is true we, as women, have to go through menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and all the things in between, but circumcision is another ball game altogether. And to think that Abraham, because of the covenant between him and God, (Genesis 17), was 99 years when he got circumcised. 99! And here were my boys, at 3 weeks old, getting circumcised, wailing like that. Lord have mercy! Abraham, indeed, father of many nations.

(PS: if you want to know how the circumcision is done, head over to http://www.talkativemom.com. You’re the real MVP Eno.) 😎😀