Being the first born comes with a lot of perks. Everything is brand new. As a new mum, I bought everything. She was the first grandchild of her paternal grandparents and the second for her maternal grandparents. They all doted over her. She had it all. It got to a point in her life where I was popping tags off her clothes everyday. She had more clothes and shoes than me and her dad combined. Her grandparents did it oh, it wasn’t me. She enjoyed and still enjoys her princess life. She made me a mother. She has grown up to be a wonderful little girl. I had and still have my fair share of difficult and challenging moments with her. I am learning to be more patient, put another whole human being’s needs before mine and learning how to juggle being a wife, mother and a career woman. Women we try oh. We have too much to do.
“Mummy is pregnant with twins and you’re going to have two brothers.” My husband will always ask her “where are your brothers” and she will respond “they’re in mummy’s stomach.” This became the national anthem in our house. It was our way of getting her to acquaint herself with having siblings before they arrived. We had read extensively about how toddlers react to their baby siblings so we wanted to prepare her. Did it sink in for her? I don’t know, I’m not sure, in fact I don’t think her 3 year old mind could grasp it fully. We were in for a whole new experience.
Finally her brothers arrived into the world. Her dad brought her to the hospital to see them. Come and see drama! (whose child is she? 🙄) I’m sure in her mind she was wondering, “who are these strangers?” She wouldn’t come near me, I guess because she was scared of the morphine strapped to my hand. She wouldn’t really look at the boys. She held on to her dad like her whole life depended on it. What a shock! I just couldn’t believe it. I was too weak to even try and force her to make her an effort. All the national anthem we sang everyday went to waste?? You think you’re prepared for something until it happens and you realize you weren’t prepared at all!
Her attention antennas spiked up! The signal was too strong. She did anything to get attention from us. If I was feeding them, she insisted I fed her as well. If I carried them, I had to carry her too. She would cry over the slightest thing. Gosh, it used to and still does irritate me. Fake crying became her speciality. If something didn’t go her way, she would start by screaming, then graduate to throwing things on the floor, then the last show will be to then throw herself on the floor and kick her legs. In fact the dramatic displays could earn her an Oscar. Hmmm, if she were my mother’s child in those days, she would have received the worse beating of her life. (Don’t worry, I am my mothers child so she wasn’t spared when it became too much.)
One Saturday, my husband and her came to spend the day with us and when they were about to head home, I started changing her into her pajamas and she didn’t want me to. Ehn? She screamed and cried for her nanny to do it for her. I was like whoa 😯 !!! What just happened here?? Eiii, am I not her mother? The two of them had created some bond that made me feel left out. Châle! I cried. I just rearranged my emotions and told my husband how I felt and that we needed a solution to fix it quick, like ASAP. Thinking about it all over again makes me tear up. Hmmm. I had to fight back for my daughter.
I was just recovering from a CS, nursing two boys and trying to figure this twin mum life out but I couldn’t neglect my first born; the one who opened my womb. Mummy daughter dates had to be a must. We FaceTimed every morning and prayed before she went to school. After school, we would talk. I had to see her every Saturday and Sunday. She spent every holiday with me. I insisted on doing her hair myself. I took her out the least chance I got. I had to intentionally make time for her. It wasn’t a matter lying down but we pulled through by God’s grace. This was our routine for four months. Big ups to my husband for all the fuel he has bought and dealing with the tantrums at home. I hail you sir 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽! Chop kiss 😘.
Gradually, she started warming up to her brothers. As soon as we FaceTime, she says “mummy let me see my brothers.” Woe betides them and myself if they’re still sleeping! She will be moody the whole time. Like, how dare you be sleeping when I’ve called to see you? 🙄(flips hair). She will try and carry them, give them their bottle, play with them and help change their diapers. Ah, the joys of sending a toddler to throw dirty diapers away. 😈 You must start them young. Now, a toddler doesn’t understand that babies are small and fragile and can’t play rough games. “Do it gently”, “Careful”, “Watch”, “Don’t lie on them”. I repeat these words at least ten times a day, and no, I am not exaggerating. I’m afraid for my husband and myself when the boys can now walk, talk and play with their big sister. We will have to run away and leave the house for them!
Sibling rivalry is real people! Some things come by prayer and fasting lol. There’s nothing God can’t do. Thankfully, she didn’t pinch them or throw toys at them. I have heard and read worse, trust me. Now mummy is back home and she is stuck to me like glue! I got my daughter back, Hallelujah (in Madea’s voice) 😊💃🏽💃🏽. I don’t even know whether to say it’s a blessing with a curse in disguise. She walks in between me, in front of me, beside me, behind me, if she got I’m sure she’ll be inside me. She follows me everywhere. My privacy in the bathroom has been thrown out the window. When I’m done, she goes “mummy let me see.” I’m like ah, this one too they have to see? 🤦🏽♀️ One time, she sacked my husband off the bed and insisted on sleeping by me. She woke up suddenly, holding on to me and said “mummy don’t leave me.” 😭😭😭 I slept in that corner the whole night!
We are still going through tantraumatic ( I know it’s not a word but my mummy brain made that up) episodes E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! I am just winging it with the help of the Holy Spirit because my sanity matters. Petit à petit…
Baby girl, your reign is over but you’ll always be our princess. Mummy and daddy love you. 😘