I have come to the realization and conclusion that I can’t be alone with all my 3 children… at least for now. I ain’t even ashamed to say it! Can I please be real? Am I allowed to rant please?These past two days have been tough to say the least. I have been tried and tested and my motherhood skills have been questioned and … I can’t deal. My husband has travelled, my nanny had to go off because she had asked for it since the beginning of the year and my mum had stuff to do; so, I was stuck with my battalion.
On the fateful Friday morning of the 29th day of March, i had to prepare my daughter’s breakfast and pack her snacks, bath and get her ready for school. Thankfully, the boys slept throughout the night and they woke up later than usual which helped a lot! Thank You, Jesus! As soon as they were up, I had to feed them, pump, bath them, bath myself and feed myself. Let’s just say the Grace of God saw me through. It was now time to pick up my daughter from school. What a nightmare!
There was Traffic everywhere! No shortcut was free, everywhere was choked. My AC then decided to give up on me. Talk about heat. ACCRA is toooooo hot; goodness! This heat can kill somebody. The boys were hot, hungry, cranky, sweating, screaming, you name it. I finally got to the school, picked her up and we made it home safely. Boy was I in for one difficult evening routine. Baby girl wasn’t having it! She was sleepy and refused to bath. I tried to keep my cool but châle I lost it. I hate unnecessary crying and what even annoyed me more was when she started screaming “ daaaaadddyyyy daaaaadddyyyy.” Tchhheeeeewwwww. I just carried her, put her in the tub and gave her a good scrubbing. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Now let’s eat too ah, ” I don’t like.” You will like! Jollof is a delicacy in someone’s house. I finally got her to cooperate by giving her the iPad to baby shark her way out of her misery. That gave me some peace and quiet to take out her hair because the next day was wash day. I dread this day like judgement day. We sha managed to get through that evening.
Saturday 30th March, my mum just sprung up her sudden outing on me. I’m like do you really have to go? I could have cried 😭😭😭. Once again, my dear readers, I was all alone with my 3 children. Thankfully, she bathed the boys before she left. Time to wash her glorious mane. We did better this time because the iPad helped her with ‘daddy finger’ and ‘mummy finger‘ but it’ll never be complete without an episode of “mummy my hand is wet”, “mummy the water is on me”, “mummy it’s paining me”, pretending to cry by closing her eyes and opening her mouth wide to prepare herself for crying🤦🏽♀️. Oh, and I forgot the classic one, “daaaaaadddyyyy.” He has travelled! It’s not as if her hair is the 4c hard and stubborn type. It’s soft and curly and beautiful but as soon as you touch her head, war!
We got through that and I didn’t even know what style to do. Thankfully, the boys were sleeping but alas, halfway through it, they started whining. Eeiiiii, what will do? I got up to wash my hands so I could feed them and the Holy Spirit told me that they’ll be fine so I should continue with her hair. We finally finished, amidst her whining, turning her head, crying, and every move African girls make when getting their hair done. I fed the boys, ate my wakye and bathed myself. By this time, I was drained and wanted to just lock myself up in my room and recuperate because strength and virtue had definitely left me.
The whole time I was battling with depressive thoughts, feeling down, feeling like giving up, questioning God, wondering how I got here, seeing this as a blessing and yet wondering how I was going to make it. Motherhood is hard! There, I said it. It is not easy. It made me realize how our mothers struggled during their time. We were 4 children and I always wondered how my mother managed. Imagine if I was a single mother. Single mothers try.
Please nobody should ever feel that they’re not good enough. Stop trying to be superwoman. I am sorry but you can’t have it all. Something has got to give. Do your best and God will take care of the rest. The unwashed bottles can wait, the wet towels and laundry can wait. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Don’t feel less of a mother when you haven’t got it all figured out. If you can, take a moment out for yourself and just breathe. Let your husband watch the children, go out, eat, enjoy for a few hours to rejuvenate and come back refreshed to continue or else you can run mad.
As I pen down these rants of mine, I am happy to say that all 3 children are having their afternoon siesta ( this word sounds weird, like alight) and my mum is home. She came bearing gifts which lifted up my spirit. Clothes are always the best therapy for women, and shoes as well. 😉
Let me go and eat my fufu…